Over the course of my life I have had many people tell me "God will not give you more than you can handle." While I sincerely appreciate the intention behind the sentence, I am struggling this past week with the thought. How strong does he think I am? At this current point I don't feel that I am strong enough to handle more of ANYTHING, not even a spilled glass of juice.
My brother is never far from my thoughts these days.....each and every day. As I go about my normal routine I find myself feeling guilty for enjoying some lazy Saturday morning cartoons with the boys or as I'm enjoying a beautiful ray of sunshine that has decided to peak out from behind a cloud; my thoughts turn to him, when will be the next time he feels the warmth of that same sun? Even the rain, as it falls from the gray skies above; when will he feel the wetness upon his face? It seems and feels as though a death has occurred in our family. Will I ever feel 'normal' again? And what does that mean....does it mean I will simply forget the fact that my brother is not living free? Or will I accept it and move forward. From here forward is the next several weeks and possibly even months of court hearings and maybe even a trial.
It's been nearly impossible to read and hear the things the media has written, they think they have created a profile of my brother for the world to know. What a joke....they have no idea who he is and have portrayed him unfairly. This is painful for me and the fact that we must sit in silence only adds to the sting of an open wound.
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7 years ago
While I've not gone through anything like what you are currently experiencing I've had that phrase tossed at me on several instances. After I've gotten passed wanting to punch them in the face for even saying it I've come to discover that God gives you way more than you can handle but over time he helps you to handle it. In time in little ways you will find ways to cope and to heal. It will never be the same but you will find the new you that is stronger for all of this. Just remember its ok to be sad and angry and all those other flashes of emotions that are raging through your day.
ReplyDeleteVery well said Mary.
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